Salt and Vinegar

My favorite condiments! (Are olives and pickles condiments? I'm feeling fairly certain about the pickles, but green olives? I don't know.)

I was going to save this post for a later point in time so people would realize I'm a normal person with a few unusual traits rather than the converse--or is that inverse? Math was always a struggle...those are mathematical terms, right?

I love salt and I love vinegar. (Please note that vinegar is a key ingredient in both ketchup and mustard.) To document in writing and redeem my much abused character I make the following explanation.

I do on occasion have a drink/swallow of green olive juice or dill pickle juice. Please, hear me out. When I am craving salt after say, exercising heavily (vigorously?) on a hot day, I don't want my salt diluted or adulterated by a starchy little cracker. I could eat an entire box of wheat thins and never satisfy the need for salt. I say need because it is a physiologic necessity after sweating buckets!

Yikes, getting overwrought here trying to defend my behavior.

Anyway, nothing like a little salty elixer washing over my tongue to balance everything out. Or, suppose you've eaten so many sweet things that your teeth feel sugar coated, quickly remedied with a swig of green olive or pickle juice. What makes gatorade so much more satisfying than a glass of apple juice? Salt, yummy.

I can't think of any physiologic reasons for my love of vinegar except that it is delicious, mmm, sour. I used to think that I loved french fries, but one fine day while dining at Wendy's my beloved niece Crystelle commented on the vast quantity of ketchup I had gotten to eat with my fries. I experienced an epiphany, I don't like fries except as a vehicle for ketchup! Plain french fries, well those are just another version of the starchy little cracker. Ditto for plain potato chips.
Aah, the defining moments in our lives.

The reason I bring all this up is the following:

This nasty little business ruined my tastebuds!

In fear for my oral health due to a cavity in my one remaining un-filled molar, I purchased the above and rinsed according to direction. Several hours after using it, I made myself a sandwich and thought the bread tasted mighty bland. Then I ate some soup and found myself adding loads of salt eventhough it had previously been adequately salted to my taste. Nothing has tasted the same since! Curses, will I never enjoy salt again?