Don't Tell M What to Do

Many years ago after being scolded for saying to our mom, "Don't tell me what to do, young lady!"  my brother changed his response to, "Don't tell M what to do!"  

What does this have to do with flying a plane? I'll tell you. Hahaha, just kidding.

Whilst my mother was visiting her homeland (not Sacramento) I went to mow my parents' lawn. My father supposes the ground is more like a sieve than a sponge and thus requires phenomenal amounts of water in order to fill that sieve. Standing pools of water are not an indicator of saturation.

As you might guess, the grass is never dry, fairly anemic, and quite long. As you might also guess, the lawn mower has a hard time with long,wet grass. Anemic grass has no effect on mower function.

As I mowed the first row, my dad motioned for me to come over. "You're not running the engine fast enough."  It's on maximum speed.

On the second pass he motioned for me to stop again. "When you're mulching there should be a plug in the blower hole."  I checked before I started, it's in there. "Lift up the flap so I can see."

Third pass, he stops me again. "You're walking too fast."  Seriously now, I'm considering a new mowing pattern that keeps me on the far side of the yard where I can't see him motioning for me to stop!

Fourth pass--I'm not looking up, pretending I don't see him waving me down. I get to the pavement, can't turn around without running over my dad, must stop. "The lever's not fully in the high-speed position."
Aaagh! Don't tell M what to do!

Maybe it's all part of the conspiracy.

Conspiracy Theory

I believe my family is conspiring to make me crazy. For your assessment:

My parents, being unaquainted with all things computer, asked me to discontinue the dial-up internet connection my sister had established for them. Why they asked me when it is my sister who has been managing/paying for the account I do not know. I asked my sister if she would discontinue the account since she is the one being billed, but she felt it would be easier if I took care of it since I had access to a notebook in which my mother had recorded her user name--consisting of her first initial and last name. Ok, I can see that is tricky information, I'll be sure to reference the notebook when I call.

I called and supplied the account holder's name--my mother's--and her telephone number. So far so good.

Operator: "Please tell me the last four digits of your mastercard."
Me: "Uh, I'm not the one paying. I don't have a card number."
Operator: "I'll have to verify with the secret question. What is the birth city of the account holder?"
Me: "Uh...Tokyo?"
Operator: "That does not match."
Me: "Saitama-ken?"
Operator: "No."
Me: "Yamanashi-ken?"
Operator: "No."
Me: "Wait! I'm doing this for my mother, I can't remember the name of the city where she was born!"
Click.

I called my sister, "I couldn't answer the secret question! Where was our mother born?"
Sister: "Sacramento."
Me:  "What?"
Sister: "I put Sacramento because it's easier to remember."
Me: "What?"
Sister: "That's where I was born."

Aaarghh!