Sister Wives

This one I stole from a blog la Guera Salsera follows, it's too fascinating not to share. Sister Wives is a new TLC show about a polygamous (soon to be prosecuted) family in Lehi. They're fundamentalists, as I suppose all polygamists with Mormon origins call themselves, but they're not of the infamous Warren Jeffs-FLDS variety. Kody and his gang are part of the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB) group. Remember a crazy fella named Cody Judy? It's all in the name, brothers and sisters.

They seem pretty normal but every once in awhile they pop out something crazy like, "The first time I kissed Kody was across the altar because it's not right to kiss a married man."   But it's ok to date one?

While I don't endorse polygamy, I do wonder why it's illegal to make a commitment to multiple women and have lots of kids, but legal to have multiple uncommitted relationships and still have lots of children.

"Come On Vacation, Leave On Probation"

I had just sat down at the gate for my return flight to Utah when I became aware of a man talking very loudly on his cell phone, "...yeah, I hired a lawyer...blah, blah, blah." It was incredibly annoying and as I hoped to do some studying while waiting for my flight, I moved to another area without even a backward glance.

As the plane started to taxi, the guy in the aisle seat asked me if I was from Utah. He then proceeded to tell me, "You come on vacation, leave on probation."  Huh?

"Yeah, I hired a lawyer." Oh no, the annoying man from the gate!

"Yeah, I got arrested for having a loaded handgun."  Uh, stewardess?

I tried feigning sleep but he kept right on talking anyway so I got to hear all about him being drunk with a loaded gun at some lake in Brigham City and how his dog was put in the pound for the entire weekend eventhough he was only in jail overnight.

Now tell me, why is it people who are seriously lacking in education, common sense and decency are allowed to own guns? Why does anyone need a gun? This is not Colonial America and we do not need to shoot our own food, nor do we need to organize a militia to fend off any Redcoats. Good grief, this is how people get shot...

No, not an altered image.

"An Unmarried Woman"

I decided to refinance my home and signed about a billion documents today. One of those documents was some paper registering me with the county and I was listed as, "An unmarried woman."

What, pray tell, does that have to do with anything?

And while I'm speaking of the absurd, for some reason they decided to process this loan under my full name, meaning I had to sign first, middle and last name on everything. I don't think I've written "Sumiko" in cursive, ever. Is that one hump or two on the m...Why does a cursive m have three humps anyway?  Who made that up? Do we make three little loopy things for a cursive w??

I make a motion to abandon cursive writing. What's the purpose anyway? We don't use fountain pens anymore or anything with a nib (nib?), so theres no longer a need for a smooth, flowing style of handwriting. Curses on cursive, I say!

Birthday DJ

This is the most ridiculous ecard ever, but do you recognize the Birthday DJ?
And, holy cow, check out the raised L eyebrow midway through.

Parking Meters

I don't often have occasion to use a parking meter but several recent trips downtown have convinced me our little city on the lake needs a serious upgrade. I pulled into a stall and realized I had no change. Who carries cash these days, let alone coins?? Ugh, I ended up purchasing an unwanted, very expensive beverage in order to get coins. $.25 for fifteen minutes is undoubtedly a bargain but it's a major pain!  And what kind of money is that making the city anyway? Is it even paying the salary of the meter-maid? Is there such a person? Meter-man?

While we're at it, lets get rid of the penny.

I Cannot Tell a Lie

Chipping away the roots.

Socks and flip-flops--Japanese inheritance, I guess.

Trying to save my plants.

Years ago the people behind me planted about fifteen trees in their backyard including several cottonwoods along our shared fenceline and then moved. Knowing the weed-like, invasive nature of the trees, I  considered arborcide while the house was vacant, but I refrained. The two subsequent owners have never watered the yard or trees but somehow there is a veritable forest of nuisance/garbage trees thriving back there. Where do all those trees get their water? My yard!!

I have cottonwood sprouts surfacing in the flower beds right next to my house, all my plants are getting strangled and robbed of water by the blasted roots, and woody bumps are surfacing in my lawn.

I bought a little hatchet!

Now, to the best of my understanding, one may prune overhanging branches. What about invading roots? Clearly the owner has no interest in whether the trees live or die or else he'd water them, right? And, really, he's stealing my water and killing my plants.