The Carwash

I think my life is about embarrassment/humiliation. I purchased an automatic carwash the other day. I never saw the light turn red, never heard a honking sound, and couldn't really tell when my wheel went in the divet-thing so I just kept going. Soap started to spray but by then I was already rolling through the exit. I considered sacrificing the $4 but my car was dotted with soapy stuff. Backing up did not re-activate the carwash. Curses! Overcoming my chagrin, I got a new code but the guy had to watch me drive into the carwash! Like, he actually told me, "I'll watch you drive in." No!! It was a simple error, don't watch me! Ugh!

An unrelated side-note: I was in a little strip-mall the other night and could see through the windows of Bikram Yoga. I thought it would be a bunch of soft, suburban housewives posing in the latest yoga attire. No, it was a bunch of stringy, grey-haired, minimally clothed white guys stretched out on the floor with ye olde hippy-yoga-master perched on a dais in the lotus position chugging water! Eew!

It's Skill level, Jerry.

I've never doubted I am my cello teacher's oldest student, but there have been high-school and college students at the recitals over the years. Well, we just had a Master Class and all the other students were talking about being in Middle School soon. Yes, all in elementary school . Me and the kids, playing cello.

Cujo

Remember how I posted once about little dogs yipping at me when I'm out running? Well, this morning I was trotting around the neighborhood and a dog starts barking at me. It was kind of a medium sized dog so I start veering to the right to give it a wide berth. Next thing I know old Cujo has latched onto my pant leg. Having no bum to prevent the descent of my pants I had nearly a half-moon exposure going on! Dumb dog. I guess I should be glad I have only a hole in my pants and not in my leg.

So much!

One of my cute little nieces who is not quite two says, "So much!" Meaning, "I love you so much!" but she can't quite say the entire sentence.  Isn't that adorable?

Not my garage--not lucid enough to grab the camera. Mine wasn't quite this bad.

Today I had garage door issues. Running late as I always do and backing out of the driveway at 30mph, I slammed on the brakes when I noticed  the garage door had failed to close and was hanging askew. Good grief! I went into the garage and discovered two of the rollers had popped off-track on one side. Being resourceful I grabbed a ladder and put them back into the track. I tried closing the door. Ping! They popped out completely, narrowly missing the open garbage can.

I replaced them again and decided to close the door manually. Because the door was already askew I hesitated to pull it from the bottom fearing it might flatten me if it suddenly sprang free. Smart girl that I am, I got on a ladder to push it from the top. Pushing an unmoving  garage door from the top of a ladder makes the ladder tilt backwards. Eek! No, I was not left dangling from the garage door.

All my efforts only led to the door hanging askew 3/4 of the way down and a roller lost somewhere in the depths of the garbage can. Why me??

Now 30 minutes late I rushed off to my appointment with grease-covered hands, grateful nonetheless--yes, grateful, as I learned with my previous garage door experience--that my car was outside the garage when all this happened.

When I got home I resigned myself to digging through the garbage which I had filled to the brim only this morning with yard debris. Note to self--close lid of garbage can when vital parts falling from door.

Just then my neighbor knocked on the door and asked if I needed help. I had called a repair person, mind you, but was glad to have my neighbor take a look. He totally fixed it in 10 minutes! By the time I had scattered twigs, leaves etc. all over my garage floor and found the missing part (at the very bottom of the can, no less) he was ready for the part and it was done! Yay!! So much!!

I am going to fertilize, mow and edge our adjoining lawns without restraint come spring.

Eeew!

So two of my nephews say they have tried nursing their babies. Is this normal?? Sounds like some kind of Freudian Envy thing to me. Poor babies--Pitooey! I'm sure they wanted to spit.

Hahaha!

I was parked in a totally dark section of the parking lot tonight, I couldn't really see the buttons on my key-less entry thing so I kind of half-way pushed them not wanting to elicit loud honking by mistake. The locks didn't open so I tried putting the key in the lock and the darn thing wouldn't go in!  Wrong car!! Eek!!

Hobby Lobby Lunacy

I entered Hobby Lobby looking for cellophane bags and left with an ulcer. Craft stores in general distress me--drain my energy, make my head ache. Hobby Lobby is out of control. I could feel my anxiety/panic rising with every minute I spent there! Is it the pressure to decorate? I have no idea but I dislike that place immensely. Is there really any reason or need for 50 ft high aisles of garland and wrapping paper? 200 lb crucifixes? 5,000 glue guns?

I found the cellophane bags after wandering for three miles. I went to checkout, there were two cashiers and 20 women in line. The woman ahead of me had a huge stack of scrapbook paper--all priced differently, all needing to be scanned individually. What kind of madness is this??

Never again.