True Confession

Perhaps this belongs under the "my life is about embarrassment/humiliation" post but, it's late and I haven't blogged in ages. No homework to avoid...

Feeling I must give it the old college try I decided to give eharmony a whirl. Several years ago I did some lurking on the site just to see what kind of people were on there and registered myself as Mary. I don't know, is that the confession part? Anyway, a couple of months ago there was a $19.99 "special" which I thought I signed up for but I got charged $119 or something ridiculous so I called customer service. 

Yes, another customer service call with one of our friends on the south asian penninsula.  First I had to share that my email address was spongebob.67  "How do you spell that?" he asked.  Must I say it out loud again?? Then feeling I needed to make a clean breast of things I confessed my name was not Mary (which he had been calling me the entire time...)  "Your name is not Mary?"  I don't know how I create this in my life.

Because I know you're wondering, I think internet dating stinks. Shal-low.

Disclaimers:
1. I'm fascinated by all things Indian, totally want to visit, what's not to love. It's just the lack of facility with English has proved consternating in my recent customer service experiences.
2. Spongebob.67 is catchy, easy to remember, it has a nice cadence...It is the account I use for anything I know is going to generate a lot of annoying email i.e. facebook (which I do not love.)

The Carwash

I think my life is about embarrassment/humiliation. I purchased an automatic carwash the other day. I never saw the light turn red, never heard a honking sound, and couldn't really tell when my wheel went in the divet-thing so I just kept going. Soap started to spray but by then I was already rolling through the exit. I considered sacrificing the $4 but my car was dotted with soapy stuff. Backing up did not re-activate the carwash. Curses! Overcoming my chagrin, I got a new code but the guy had to watch me drive into the carwash! Like, he actually told me, "I'll watch you drive in." No!! It was a simple error, don't watch me! Ugh!

An unrelated side-note: I was in a little strip-mall the other night and could see through the windows of Bikram Yoga. I thought it would be a bunch of soft, suburban housewives posing in the latest yoga attire. No, it was a bunch of stringy, grey-haired, minimally clothed white guys stretched out on the floor with ye olde hippy-yoga-master perched on a dais in the lotus position chugging water! Eew!

It's Skill level, Jerry.

I've never doubted I am my cello teacher's oldest student, but there have been high-school and college students at the recitals over the years. Well, we just had a Master Class and all the other students were talking about being in Middle School soon. Yes, all in elementary school . Me and the kids, playing cello.

Cujo

Remember how I posted once about little dogs yipping at me when I'm out running? Well, this morning I was trotting around the neighborhood and a dog starts barking at me. It was kind of a medium sized dog so I start veering to the right to give it a wide berth. Next thing I know old Cujo has latched onto my pant leg. Having no bum to prevent the descent of my pants I had nearly a half-moon exposure going on! Dumb dog. I guess I should be glad I have only a hole in my pants and not in my leg.

So much!

One of my cute little nieces who is not quite two says, "So much!" Meaning, "I love you so much!" but she can't quite say the entire sentence.  Isn't that adorable?

Not my garage--not lucid enough to grab the camera. Mine wasn't quite this bad.

Today I had garage door issues. Running late as I always do and backing out of the driveway at 30mph, I slammed on the brakes when I noticed  the garage door had failed to close and was hanging askew. Good grief! I went into the garage and discovered two of the rollers had popped off-track on one side. Being resourceful I grabbed a ladder and put them back into the track. I tried closing the door. Ping! They popped out completely, narrowly missing the open garbage can.

I replaced them again and decided to close the door manually. Because the door was already askew I hesitated to pull it from the bottom fearing it might flatten me if it suddenly sprang free. Smart girl that I am, I got on a ladder to push it from the top. Pushing an unmoving  garage door from the top of a ladder makes the ladder tilt backwards. Eek! No, I was not left dangling from the garage door.

All my efforts only led to the door hanging askew 3/4 of the way down and a roller lost somewhere in the depths of the garbage can. Why me??

Now 30 minutes late I rushed off to my appointment with grease-covered hands, grateful nonetheless--yes, grateful, as I learned with my previous garage door experience--that my car was outside the garage when all this happened.

When I got home I resigned myself to digging through the garbage which I had filled to the brim only this morning with yard debris. Note to self--close lid of garbage can when vital parts falling from door.

Just then my neighbor knocked on the door and asked if I needed help. I had called a repair person, mind you, but was glad to have my neighbor take a look. He totally fixed it in 10 minutes! By the time I had scattered twigs, leaves etc. all over my garage floor and found the missing part (at the very bottom of the can, no less) he was ready for the part and it was done! Yay!! So much!!

I am going to fertilize, mow and edge our adjoining lawns without restraint come spring.

Eeew!

So two of my nephews say they have tried nursing their babies. Is this normal?? Sounds like some kind of Freudian Envy thing to me. Poor babies--Pitooey! I'm sure they wanted to spit.

Hahaha!

I was parked in a totally dark section of the parking lot tonight, I couldn't really see the buttons on my key-less entry thing so I kind of half-way pushed them not wanting to elicit loud honking by mistake. The locks didn't open so I tried putting the key in the lock and the darn thing wouldn't go in!  Wrong car!! Eek!!