Just a short post.

No time, just thought I'd share links to funny videos. The first one Maria actually sent me a long time ago, crazy little Indian guy dancing.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVuIBpJ6B4E
It's G rated.

The second one is PG-13, but they showed it to us in class at BYU today! The lecture was on birth control so you can decide if you want to steer clear of it or not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHCwcqigXWk

Aging

Witch Hazel

I did have a picture of my kinky, white Witch Hazel hairs but it just disappeared when I tried to edit this post. You all know what my hair looks like so I'm not going to load it again.

I always thought I would accept the outward signs of aging--wrinkles, gray hair--but I must confess it's becoming harder as the signs grow more evident. I tell you, at school and work I'm surrounded by girls in their twenties and I don't feel any different until I look in the mirror and am horrified by my aged reflection. Holy cow, I was talking to one of the new nurses and she said, "I'm so glad you're here. I was going to ask my mom this but I never had a chance so I'll ask you." Meaning, I was a mother type figure! Yikes!! Techinally, yes, I suppose I'm old enough to be her mother, but really!

I have never been a Martha Makeup type. I touch my face a lot (scrub it in frustration might be more accurate--I seem to suffer from Irritable Syndrome.) and so within a couple of hours all makeup is either hopelessly smudged or rubbed off completely.

I've always worn mascara because I have stubby eyelashes but other than that I reserved makeup for dressing up. (How do I write that so it's not a dangling participle?? Or is "up" not a participle in this case since it's kind of an adjective?)

Anyway, that all changed in April of last year. Twice, within a two week period of time I was asked about my grandchildren! Mind you, I've just turned 42. The first time I thought it was a joke until I realized I was the only one laughing; at which point I started gasping because I couldn't seem to breathe. Complete shock.

The very next day I became a Martha Makeup, I've worn it every day since. I decided that if I feel like I look better with it on--and I must since I wear it when I dress up--why would I not want to try and look better all the time? I guess this is probably meaningless to girls/women who've always worn makeup but it was a big decision for me at age 41.

The second time I was accused of being Grandma Age I was actually at Stake Conference and hence dressed and coiffed with more care than usual but alas to no avail. The girl sitting next to me who was presumably my daughter is like 26 yrs old, no I did not have her when I was 15!

Much to my dismay I had to conclude it's the darn gray hair making me look like a grandma.

If everyone would just agree to go gray, then it wouldn't be associated with advanced old age anymore. Don't you think?

Why don't I color my hair? I used to say because it's fake, kind of like makeup. That was when I only had a few gray hairs. Now I say it's because I can't stand it when my roots start to show 2 weeks after coloring it.

I kind of always liked and aspired to be the granola type of woman--not too caught up in fashion, happy to have hair and face in their natural states. I never exactly wanted the leathery-face or frizzy hair part of it but I guess that's just how it goes. Why do the blasted white hairs come in kinky when the dark ones are stick straight?

I fully intend to have my age spots lasered and my frown lines botoxed one day soon. In fact, if anyone has a fabulous contact, please pass on the information.

My favorite birthday gift, handmade socks!


Aren't they awesome?

Spelling: Pronunciation: Grammar

I cannot hold back any longer. I wanted to wait, for fear of offending, but I'm going to develop a stress ulcer if I don't get this off my chest. I feel frantic!

Before I begin in earnest, let me just say I know I'm far from perfect in my spelling, pronunciation and grammar. Feel free to point it out, I want to be corrected, bring me to task. (Is that the correct idiom? I do have a problem with choosing the correct sayings, "That's not my piece of cake.")

I think we probably all agree that misspelling, mispronunciation and incorrect grammar are initially funny, subsequently distracting and ultimately annoying. For some, it's always acceptable--someone for whom English is a second language or children, for example. For the rest of us, I believe the expectation rises with age and education. In other words, our ability to write and speak English correctly should increase if we're adults and have graduated from high school. If you have your PhD, you should be pretty darn close to perfect.

If we read books, read the newspaper, have exposure to people speaking proper English, how can we help but absorb?

Although this has always been a pet peeve of mine, it's become an especially sore point since I've been back in school. My professors consistently mispronounce and misspell words in their slides and lectures. What kind of confidence does that inspire?? Uh, none. In fact, I begin to doubt their competence. Granted, medical terminology is Greek and Latin based, but surely there's a responsiblity inherent in being a teacher to know what one is saying and how to say it!

Also, as long as I'm railing, shouldn't one's boss also be able to spell? (Guess I won't be inviting my boss to read this...actually, unable to hold my tongue at work, I regularly point out errors. Surprisingly, I still have a job.)

Can I just give some examples? Spicket. What does that mean? Nothing! It was meant to be Spigot--the thing that water comes out of on the side of your house. Or, how about this: Dido. That was supposed to be Ditto, meaning, "I second that" but it unfortunately looks like something that might be purchased in an adults-only store. Speaking of which, my 9th grade math teacher used to call us that particular little name when we didn't understand a concept-- until someone looked up the word. She stopped after that.


Especially maddening mispronunciations:

Pneumonic instead of Mnemonic. Sonometer instead of Centimeter. People, what is wrong with you??

I'm done, please don't be offended unless you've had post-baccalaureate education. In which case, please buy a dictionary and review freshman English.

Moss in my pitcher!

Having just revealed my obsession with all things hygienic, look at my water pitcher!! This is Brita-filtered White City water, sick!

This is the third time it's happened. Last week I thought I noticed a greenish tint at the bottom of the pitcher but decided it was just a weird reflection off the counter. By the end of this week I was sure it was moss--it's fuzzy on close inspection--so I let it grow for the past 3 days so it would show up in the picture.

It's not as though I don't wash the darn thing, everytime I change the filter I wash the whole thing and let it air dry.

I like to drink my water at room temperature so I don't keep it in the fridge, but it's not like I keep it in the sun and fertilize it once a week! I'm completely grossed out that my tap water has pond scum in it, shouldn't cholrination kill it? What other microscopic life forms are swimming around in there? Maybe it's the filter? Honestly!

I've over-fed myself in typical Sunday fashion and killed my brain thus I have no clever posts for today. I'm sure I'll talk myself out of homework sometime this week and post sometime other than Wednesday. It's become an addiction. At work I think about blog-worthy items, during class and alas, sometimes during church, my thoughts drift to the blog. Concerning.

Bonus Post

I've been giddy because I got out of class at noon instead of 4PM today. I have time for a bonus post! Alas, now I'm pressed for time again because I decided to clean my bathrooms.


Jeffrey R. Holland, who was president of BYU when I attended, was the devotional speaker on Tuesday. As I sat in the Marriott Center with him at the podium and his wife Pat on the stand it was just like old times, in the very best way! I guess that's called nostalgia?


Regarding hygiene, I realized that at least half the time, if not more, I actually brush my teeth before I wash my face because I figure I may as well do something productive while waiting for the water to get hot. So, I must retract my previous comment and repent of my erroneous, adolescent judgement of my highschool roommate, Terry. After all, one is more likely to get foamy, toothpaste goo all over a freshly washed face than get facial dirt in a freshly brushed mouth. However, if the water were to always come out at exactly the right temperature, I would always wash my face first. It just seems like my mouth is or should be the cleaner of the two.
I went through a phase where I only washed my face once a day in the shower. You know those girls with the Neutrogena complexions? Pale, flawless skin? They all say they never wash their faces so I decided to give it a try. Well, their faces must produce no oil and shed no skin.


I brush, then floss. I am completely grossed out by the reverse. Please don't tell me if that's your order of business, I can't dwell on it.


As far as OCD, the bottom line is I rarely get sick. Of course my demands for cleanliness decline rapidly the longer I spend unwashed i.e. on a backpacking trip. Funny how that is.
Ok, must be productive.

Japanese Body Type

This is an approximation of the body type I have inherited.

My mother, sisters and one niece all have the questionable fortune of sharing the exact same shape--bobble head and tubular torso which looks pretty much the same from all angles due to a lack of bosom, waist, hips and derriere.

Yes, these are the proportions of a toddler freakishly imposed on adult women.

According to a newspaper article I read, the ideal Waist Hip Ratio (WHR) for a woman with the classic hourglass shape is 0.7. For men the ideal WHR is 0.95 or less. Mine is 0.85, almost a boy, sheesh! Go, measure now. Divide your waist size by your hip size.

Apparently Androgens (one of which is testosterone) "increase waist-to-hip ratios in women by increasing visceral fat, which is carried around the waist. Increased androgen levels are also associated with increased strength, stamina, and competitiveness." https://secure.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705267920,00.html

I will just say, some women in my family decidedly wear the proverbial pants.

Speaking of pants, the tubular body type makes it possible to remove one's pants without unzipping, they just come off. I think that's definitely a minus when it comes to weighing pros and cons. Unless, of course, one is also cursed with stubby fingers which lack the natural grace and dexterity of their longer counterparts. In which case, not needing to worry about intricate fastenings is a plus. Ok, that was weird. I'll save my thoughts on stubby fingers for another post.

This is a Kokeshi doll from Japan.

Can you see the resemblance to the orange and toilet paper roll?

Alas, it's late and this semester is killer, I've got to quit. There are so many comments I want to write about but it will have to wait until Sunday.

Maria's husband thinks the Ohsieks suffer from OCD when it comes to cleanliness--this from a Microbiology major who knows what kind of germs are out there! It was that unusually early toilet training that did it, I blame my mother (thanks, Freud.) Perhaps that's where my rituals regarding face washing and teeth brushing originated. I'm getting ahead of myself. Sunday. Goodnight.

Maria:Moisture:Mormons

Maria getting out of the car to kill me.

Maria, happy, skinny, smitten with Joe

The Manhattan LDS temple.

I have never had athlete's foot nor a fungal infection of any type.

I meant to have the pictures appear in the same order as the title but I am impaired.

Amy's comment about Maria and moisture inspired the direction of this post, thanks, Amy!

I also hate the word moist and all its derivatives. Why? Perhaps because of its association with warm, dark places in which fungi like to grow? Eeew!

I suppose it's ok for describing cake. What else would be appropriate in that case? "Yum, this cake has just the perfect amount of liquid/lack of dryness." I think I'll just stick with calling a particularly good piece of cake "delicious."

For some reason, everyone(local culture, I suppose) has adopted the use of "moisture" when referring to any kind of precipitation during prayers. Ex: "We're thankful for the moisture we received." It makes me squirm everytime I hear it!

Would you like a moist towellette to blot your soiled upper lip? Aaagh, never!

I don't get it. We don't say, "Boy, we got about 4 inches of moisture from that last storm!" Well, actually, I can imagine a couple of people saying that...but as a whole we comment on the amount of snow or rain. Saying moisture is kind of like talking about humidity, it just doesn't make any sense, not to mention it's essential to fungal growth--not too dry, not too wet.

Are we thinking it's a more respectful way of saying rain or snow? Help! It's like saying we're thankful for the nutrition instead of the food. I guess we are thankful for the nutrition...

Ok, I'm beating a dead horse. Don't get me wrong, I love going to church. I get a renewed perspective and feel better about life,people, myself.

Abrupt change of subject. Must one transition in a blog?

I changed my settings so readers can comment without creating a Google account, I was worried a random weirdo might leave inappropriate comments but I guess I can edit.

Also, I am limiting myself to posting on Sundays and Wednesdays. I have to control myself!

I love your comments, everyone! You're hilarious!